Chuck Nunchuck’s Galaxy

Hello everyone. If you’re reading this you’re probably wondering where the heck I’ve been for some months. If you’re not reading this than how are you reading what you are seeing right now? What? Sorry. I was abducted by aliens. Illegal aliens. For quite some time I was hogtied in a Colombian family’s basement being fed Spam and red wine every, single, day. During that time I was subjected to cruel torture sessions that have truly impacted me for the rest of my life. I won’t get much into detail, but let’s just say that after watching The Proposal in spanish 461 times, it will never be as good as Amores Perros is in japanese.

Thankfully I don’t have kidney stones anymore. And I don’t want to jinx myself so I’m gonna shut up now. But 2009 has come, and it is on it’s way out. The hell with 2010, I’m waiting for 2012. I can’t wait for the floor under me to start cracking open and water becomes blood. How are you gonna survive the apocalypse? What will you do when ducks start shooting lava from their eyes? Zombies? Be prepared.
Anyways, enjoy the rest of the year. Be a good boy and girl or you’ll get Santa’s turds in your stocking. And of course by stocking I mean mouth. Cheers!

Here’s a totally undeniably incredibly awesome video from a couple artists, stop motion animation style.

MMMMM, I love me some new Nutri-Grain bite size snacks. Supposedly these are the best tasting ones ever made and okay I can’t do this anymore. Before your mouth starts watering- this is one of two, of what I had lodged inside my kidney for a month, and as of two days ago, one of them was in my ureter. Did you see that? Seriously. Just know these aren’t pictures of what was literally in me. X-Rays showed that mine was 7mm, (that’s what she said) and this was after a second evaluation a month later. Unless it grew. Aw fuck. I expulsed a good amount of that sucker earlier today, or so I’d like to think. As of this moment there’s another rock up in my kidney just waiting to prance on down, rendering me pretty useless. Let’s see how it goes.

UPDATE: Today, at 5:00 A.M. on Friday the 14th I went to the hospital once again for disgusting pains on my left side. They have me on antibiotics now because I may be showing signs of an early infection but due to the timing, it can be halted. I feel better now, and hopefully will not continue to have an awkward week filled with rusty needles and holey I.V’s.

Check out the various kinds of kidney stones that exist. Not pretty.

This video shows an extraction of a kidney stone with a claw like device. Basically, if you’re eating a Nutri-Grain bar at this time, grab a second one!

I easily did not choose that procedure and instead went with Extracorporeal Shockwave Lithotripsy. The moral of the story is, DRINK MOAR WATER. Drink it till it comes out of your ears. Drink it till you start couting water in your sleep. Drink it till water comes out of your sink. Drink water now more than ever. Keep your kidneys hydrated. You only have five. But seriously folks. Do it.

Now check this out. Amazing!

“Destino began in 1946 as a collaboration between Walt Disney and the famed surrealist painter Salvador Dali. A first-hand example of Disney’s interest in avant garde and experimental work in animation, Destino was to be awash with Dali’s iconic melting clocks, marching ants and floating eyeballs. However, Destino was not completed at that time. In 2003 it was rediscovered by Walt’s nephew, Roy E. Disney, who took on the challenge of bringing the creation of these two great artists to fruition. In addition to the completed Destino, this exciting addition to the Walt Disney Treasures line also includes an all-new feature-length documentary that examines the surprising partnership between Dali and Disney plus two new featurettes; “The Disney That Almost Was,” an examination of the studio’s unfinished projects; and “Encounters with Walt,” which addresses the surprisingly diverse group of celebrities and artists who were attracted to Walt Disney’s early work.

A June 2008 press release for the Walt Disney Treasures line revealed Destino is now being excluded from a 2008 “Treasures” release. According to “Treasures” host Leonard Maltin, the film is still likely to see an eventual DVD release, yet not necessarily within the “Treasures” moniker. An August 2008 Disney press release stated Destino is now due for a 2010 DVD release and “will be available to own for the first time along with an all-new feature-length documentary that examines the surprising partnership between Dali and Disney.”

I love Dali. That is one awesome dude, and I can’t wait for this!

Okay onto some serious business.

Ah, to see him in a flick with this guy would be outstanding.

Side note, Everybody Hates Chris is ga-reat. Almost done with season 1.

In the spirit of UFC 101 this past Saturday, here are some of the best UFC and other contact sport knockouts. Please do not attempt any of this at home. If you do, make sure you record it and send it to me so I can show your parents.
No Nintendo for you!

And now, two old guys fighting. Possibly over a Fixodent bottle.

A quick FYI- If we all continue to be careless, we can fix the economy!

Why is it that when people tell an interesting fact, it’s started off with “They say..” Can anyone tell me who They is? I’m convinced They is a group of mad scientists in a lab concocting “facts” and sprinkling them throughout the internets. Now I lost track of what I was going to say. Oh yes. They say we use about 10% of our brains. Go here if you wanna see a robot kid using at least 10.1% of it.

Don’t be this guy.

Greetings humans, or should I say cyborgs. I have methodically kidnapped your brain and replaced it with a Richard Simmons autographed dildo. Go ahead, check. Now that I tricked you into believing that, give your ears a headache with a new bleep bloop mix. Crank it up with hopes that your neighbor thinks you’ve opened a nightclub in your house. So go ahead people, you’re almost there! Fuck you. Just kidding, I love you.

P.S. I produced the first track. Yey!

If you’re not aware of Arrivederci, you very damn well should be! An associate of mine is the lead singer of the group, and well, it makes it that more special. Their debut album Goodbye is available from the guy on the corner of your old middle school for download on iTunes, and their album release party will be on August 22nd at Taverna Opa in West Palm Beach. Be there or be triangle.

In the fall of 2009, three men musically and methodically are sent out to change the world with vocals, violin, drums and keyboards. Capture the energy and passion as Timothee Lovelock (Vocals/Violin), Adam Piccoli (Drums), and Zack Gracius (Keyboards) journey through the strife and struggles of an economical downturn, the balance of business and personal life and the fights and arguments that come along with teamwork. They say that you can walk for miles on the road to stardom, but you won’t get anywhere until you venture on Stardom Road.

I’ve been lucky enough to catch these guys live a couple times, and they’re dope.

Switching gears now- I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority here, but I saw Tron last night for the first time. It was pretty gnarly I must say. I had no clue that Jeff Bridges was young at any point in his life, I mean what a bountiful set of hair he had in this flick. It felt like I was watching what would have been The Matrix if it came out in the 80’s, except the word “woah” wasn’t invented yet so Keanu Reeves would’ve been jobless. Which by the way, did you know Christopher Reeves is Keanu Reeves’s dad? Well he’s not.

And here’s Shaq contemplating eating one of the best things on Earth.

Hey hey hey, what’s happenin’? Hope you had a sexy ass weekend, you heathen you.
In my quest to find out the true meaning of the internets, I present to you another magical world wide web video.

Also, my good buddy Morty Mouse told me about a Linkin Park video for the new Transformers soundtrack. Great song, even better video. Reminds me very much of the video for Welcome to Heartbreak.

And here are three PSA’s from the future. You ask how this is possible? I know people. People from the future! And I’ll tell you what, if you think the future is about flying cars and ninja cats- you’ve got another thing coming. This is who I get my info from. Shhhh.

OH hai. Hope you people are doing well. These people aren’t.

If you want some hip-hop, both new and old, go for the click.

Ozzy Osbourne is an interesting being.

And who wants to see an old clip from Tim and Eric before they made awesome shows? You!

Hello everybody. I mean what’s the deal with peanuts? That was my Jerry Seinfeld impersonation. It was so good.

So this Saturday we are celebrating the day we broke free from Russia’s dictatormalistic regime, to become our own country 453 years ago. I think. Anyways, be thankful we live here- we’ve got it pretty damn good.

FASTFACTZ®: Q-Tip is gonna release some musics. Some teacher handed out her homemade porn DVDs to students. Two grandpa’s were found with 12.5 tons of green tulips. I don’t know what the shit this is. Miami, I’m we’re pretty sexy. I’m almost certain this guy sucks. Jay-Z is going with Sony. We may have an Oscar contender? And this just in, Jesus doesn’t know everything.

This makes me so happy. (Especially the keytar.)

Cheers folks!

Earlier today at work an associate of mine The Hyper Hipster told me about a DJ crew from France called Birdy Nam Nam. Here’s a video of theirs for The Parachute Ending which was produced by Jus†ice. It’s a pretty wild ride.

Now here’s a great movie scene.

Lastly, for all you Twitter Troopers out there- be warned. If you’re not on Twitter, it’s okay. But I know you’ve been getting salty looks while standing by the bar at a club- believe me, it’s not your outfit. It’s cause you’re not on Twitter, and women smell this. In a recent survey conducted by myself I found that 10 out of 11 ladies will sleep with a guy that knows how to tweet, especially if you stand in cool positions while you do it. Back in ‘08 I tweeted blindfolded with my toes while rock climbing in Israel and was quickly approached by a group of hotties. I now run 3 polygamist villages. Hooray for technology!